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[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
SageGenesis Online
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[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
D&D:

There is an orc in the dungeon. He guards a pie.
There is a barmaid in the inn. She is lusty.
If you defeat the orc, you may seduce the wench.


D&D, as done by old school Gygax:

There's a ten foot by ten foot room. There is a treasure chest. It is guarded by an orc.
The barmaid is in fact a Sphere of Annihilation trap. Save versus agonizing death.


FATAL:

There is a 36DDD cup orc in the dungeon with nineteen spiked penises.
There is a horny barmaid in the town. It takes an hour for your party to finish with her, you feel dirty, and all the other players have a hand under the table.


Exalted:

There is an orc in the dungeon. You can't remember the last time you killed one of them, so you separate him at the atomic level with the power of your JAWESOME alone. It wasn't nearly as satisfying as you would have hoped.
There is a horny barmaid in town. You are now known as Cleaver, the Womanshredder.


Shadowrun:

There is an orc in the dungeon. He's got all the connections you need. To bad you burned him on your last deal and he's hired some wiz kids to kick the smeg out of you and yours
There is a horny barmaid in the town. She's actaully a ghoul and has been working her own angle on you for the last five months. Should have taken that desk job at the corp.


Weapons of the Gods:

There are ten thousand wailing orc-demons in the thirty-eighth hell.
There is a horny barmaid in the tea room. She fucks you up with kung fu.


Iron Kingdoms:

There is an orc in the dungeon. It bears a suspicious resemblance to an 19th century ethninticity.
There is a barmaid in town. She will have an exposed midriff, smoke cigars, and carry an oversized tool or weapon of some sort. There is always a massive machine in the background.


Vampire, the Masquerade:

There is an orc in the dungeon. The less important the corebook makes him sound, the more powerful and at the centre of conspiracies he'll actually be.
There is a horny barmaid in the city. She's part of your background dots and shall willingly give her blood to you in a grotesque mockery of love that ultimately leaves you feeling hollow.


Werewolf, the Apocalypse:

There is an orc in the dungeon. It's of the Wyrm, so you and six other walking abattoirs rip it apart.
There is a horny barmaid in the town. You feel pretty damn invincible after that orc, so you and six other walking abattoirs rip her apart.


Mage, the Ascension:

There is an orc in the dungeon. It's from a strange and alien world, but you have the proper Spheres to turn it into an armchair.
There is a horny barmaid in the city. She sees you do something, so you explode.


Nationalism:

There is an irishman in the dungeon.
There is a buxom blonde barmaid in the town.
KEEP THEM APART!!!


Sexism:

There is an orc in the dungeon.
There is a barmaid in the town.
The orc has better prospects for promotion to a management position.


Anime:

There is a tentacle monster in the dungeon.
There is a horny barmaid in the town. She has a penis.


Soviet Communism:

There is an orc in the dungeon.
There is a horny barmaid in the town.
Half of the orc's gold is taken away by the State and given to the barmaid, but there's only one shop in town and it has no dildos in stock, despite governmental targets for sex-toy production being met 200%.


Top Gear:

There is an orc in the dungeon. Some say he can leap tall buildings in a single bound. All we know is, he's called The Stig.


LARP:

There is an orc in the dungeon. Please engage him in rock-paper-scissors to determine who wins the encounter.
There is a horny barmaid in the town. She probably weighs 300 pounds.


Doctor Who:

There is an orc in the dungeon. A Timelord kills him with a plothole.
There is a cute and family-friendly barmaid in town. She dies horribly to emotionally engage the audience.


Pokemon:

There is an orc in the dungeon. It challenges you to a pokemon duel and afterwards learns an important lesson about friendship.
There is a barmaid in town. She looks just like every other barmaid in the world.

What you need to understand about the apocalypse is that you aren't Mad Max. You're part of the skull pyramid in the background.
01-01-2009 20:28:45
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JLT* Offline
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Post: #2
[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
hahaha briljant! Grin

"I think I'll have seconds.."

-Chronomangor; Eater of Time. ∞
02-01-2009 00:22:24
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SageGenesis Online
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Post: #3
[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
Well, feel free to add your own orc/barmaid scenarios. Smile

What you need to understand about the apocalypse is that you aren't Mad Max. You're part of the skull pyramid in the background.
02-01-2009 00:32:01
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nar Offline
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[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
Mutants and Masterminds
there's an orc in the dungeon. once he was a scientist, working for the government, but one of his experiments went horribly wrong and his body underwent a terrible mutation!
there's a horny barmaid in town, but simply her gratitude is thanks enough for you.

Paranoia XP
there's a CLASSIFIED in the CLASSIFIED.
CLASSIFIED traitorous CLASSIFIED.
report to CLASSIFIED and CLASSIFIED to receive your Mandatory Bonus Duty.
You have 30 minutes to complete your mission. Your mission begins now. The computer is your friend.

raptor magnificus
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i am a motherfucking ray of goddamn sunshine, i am.
02-01-2009 12:16:41
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SageGenesis Online
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Post: #5
[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
Time Cube

There is a four-faces simultaneous day cube-orc in the dungeon. If you don't understand this you are EDUCATED STUPID and are a TRAITOR TO HARMONIOUS WORLD.
There is a horny barmaid in town. To deny her as an aspect of GOD is part of the CRUSADE TO SPREAD AIDS.


Star Trek, the original series

There is an orc on planet Dungeon IV. Kirk will destroy him.
There is a horny barmaid on the nearest space station. Kirk will woo her.


Star Trek, the next generation

There is an orc on planet Dungeon IV. The Prime Directive forbids us to do anything about it.
There is a horny barmaid in Ten Forward, but Gene Roddenberry didn't like it so she's only refered to instead of ever shown.


Star Trek, deep space nine

There is an orc from the Dungeon Quadrant. Even though we're very enlightened, we're going to kill him.
There is a horny barmaid on the station. Quark doesn't pay her nearly enough.


Star Trek, Voyager

There is an orc on planet Dungeon IV. The Prime Directive forbids us to do anything about it. Wait a minute, wasn't this done on TNG already?
There is a horny barmaid. But we're too busy staring at Seven of Nine's breasts to notice.


Star Trek, Enterprise

Who cares?

What you need to understand about the apocalypse is that you aren't Mad Max. You're part of the skull pyramid in the background.
02-01-2009 12:40:00
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JLT* Offline
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Post: #6
[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
Midnight
All the horny barmaids are raped in the dungeons
there are no more bars; the orcs burned them all down.

"I think I'll have seconds.."

-Chronomangor; Eater of Time. ∞
(This post was last modified: 02-01-2009 16:34:18 by Meer.)
02-01-2009 16:31:55
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JLT* Offline
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Post: #7
[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
Fallout

Theres an irradiated orc in an abandoned metro station, guarding an irradiated strange meat pie.
Theres an irradiated wench standing in a bar made of irradiated corrugated iron. Her arms fell off last week but she's allready grown new ones.

"I think I'll have seconds.."

-Chronomangor; Eater of Time. ∞
02-01-2009 16:44:11
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SageGenesis Online
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Post: #8
[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
Call of Cthulhu

There is an orc in the dungeon. When you see him you go insane.
There is a horny barmaid in town. She is a cultist. She will kill you in your sleep.


Cthulhutech

The orc crawled out of the dungeon and let its presence be known to the world. Four seconds later its face was evaporated by a squad of power-armored soldiers with laser cannons.
There is a horny barmaid in town. She is a cultist. But you're a psychic who erased those memories and turned her into your love-slave. The Office of Internal Security finds out two months later and you're dragged away by men in black during a convenient power outage. You never got a trial and the media didn't report your absence.

What you need to understand about the apocalypse is that you aren't Mad Max. You're part of the skull pyramid in the background.
02-01-2009 17:05:06
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Larien
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Post: #9
[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
Fable II
There is an orc in the dungeon. If you defeat him, everybody will love you for protecting the village. If you let him loose on the villagers, you'll earn a new cool evil outfit!
There is a horny barmaid in the town. If you flirt with her, she'll give you a discount. Also, she probably won't notice if you swipe the cash register.

Ah, dilemma's, dilemma's... Smile
03-01-2009 13:30:27
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(me) Melchior Online
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[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
KOTORII
There is a monster in a sunken underwater lab, you consider save/reload and let it live because killing it didn't give darkside points.
There is a friendly technician in a locker scared of the monster and wont come out. There is a long dialogue tree of interesting psychological comfort talk where in the *insert lightsaber* end he might come out and .... ow.

Licensed.
(This post was last modified: 03-01-2009 15:09:31 by Knightwood.)
03-01-2009 13:58:33
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voh Online
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[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
MARIO
There's an Orc in a dungeon, you beat it by jumping on his head.
The barmaid's in another castle.

robindevoh.com - NaNoWriMo prep & onwards, writin's the main topic.
03-01-2009 14:38:33
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SageGenesis Online
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[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
voh Wrote:The barmaid's in another castle.
Well played, sir, well played.

I like all we've got so far. Let's have MOAR!

What you need to understand about the apocalypse is that you aren't Mad Max. You're part of the skull pyramid in the background.
03-01-2009 14:44:00
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voh Online
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[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
LOST
There's an Orc on a tropical island and even he doesn't know why, adding to the confusion. He gets taken away by smoke.
The barmaid is one of The Others and has unknown plans to do with unknown things that incorporate unknown people that may or may not have any logic to it (but probably doesn't).

HEROES
The Orc is dead and Sylar can now turn green. Why? Who the fuck cares.
The barmaid works for Primatech but pretends she's not a bad guy. Then, in season 2, it turns out she's a good guy, but then turns bad again, then good again, then gets decapitated, but due to time travelling, isn't dead after all, after which she turns bad again.

IT CROWD
The Orc is, in fact, boss of Reynholm Industries and wears ghastly 80's leisure suits.
The barmaid makes Roy uncomfortable in his pants, causing far too much hilarity.

CHUCK
The Orc is FULCRUM.
The barmaid is FULCRUM.

HOUSE
The Orc's differential causes a lot of conflicting theories, none of which are correct.
The barmaid tells House to get lost and, as if by magic, House suddenly realizes what's wrong - something so simple it really doesn't speak well of him as a doctor that he didn't think of it sooner.

Alright, I'm empty. Bah Tongue

robindevoh.com - NaNoWriMo prep & onwards, writin's the main topic.
03-01-2009 15:18:56
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SageGenesis Online
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Post: #14
[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
Battlestar Gallactica

The orc is a cylon.
The barmaid is not a cylon. Oh alright, yes she is.


Sin City

There is an orc in a S&M-dungeon. He does terrible things to women and eventually gets beheaded by...
... the horny barmaid, who happens to be a whore as well as a former soviet commando.


Max Pain

Deep inside the old abandoned metrostation, which criss-cross the city like old scars, lives the orc. His grin is like the Chessire Cat. He smiles at you when he wants something. And as soon as his all-too expected betrayal comes he fades away until there's nothing but teeth. Somebody should do something about him. That somebody is me.
The barmaid is overworked. I can tell by the dead look in her eyes, the weight of the grey world hanging on her shoulders, one shuffling step after another. She looks as tired as I feel. But I can't stop. There's no end to my shift and I'm getting even less tips than she does. Popping back a pill, swilling down the coffee that's like cold oil, I leave her to her greasy spoon and step back into the snow that dances in front of my eyes like my haunted memories.

What you need to understand about the apocalypse is that you aren't Mad Max. You're part of the skull pyramid in the background.
03-01-2009 16:39:02
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nar Offline
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[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
Your Job
There is an orc in the dungeon of an office building in which you work. He is your boss and he's guarding your paycheck. Strangely, killing him won't get you your paycheck any faster.
The babe in accounting isn't particularly horny, but she makes your girlfriend insane with jealousy anyway and woe betide you if you talk to her at the company's christmas party when you've had just that little bit too much to drink.

NOS Journaal
There's an orc in the dungeon. He's guarding a pie. This is brought to the attention of the general public by a "klokkenluider". Politicians and journalists alike leap on the subject like dingoes 'pon a baby. The general public is bombarded with this subject day in and day out for a week, before it disappears and we all act as though it never happened.
A young girl has some strange ideas about how much a breezer, pack of cigs, or big mac is worth, in addition to what constitutes a romantic place to have sex. A christian-democratic politician gets wind of this, has something akin to a cross between an anurism and an orgasm and the government is once again saved from actually having to deal with any sort of real problem.

raptor magnificus
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i am a motherfucking ray of goddamn sunshine, i am.
03-01-2009 20:38:13
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nar Offline
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[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
Mobile Phone Advertisement
Now, with the purchase of a Dungeon Crawler abbonement, recieve the new Nokia Orc2350 with 5.0 megapixel pie!
Feeling lusty? SMS 'satisfaction on' to 7474 and recieve this "so lusty" realtone!

raptor magnificus
- - - - - -
i am a motherfucking ray of goddamn sunshine, i am.
03-01-2009 21:02:58
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MaszaH Offline
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[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
law and order
there's a suspicious orc in a dungeon, he had kidnapped a pie.. plot thickens.. the pie is made by a horny barmade.. plot thickens.... the pie was ment for the horny barmade's pimp... plot thickens.... the pimp was killed! plot thickens.... the orc is arrested for murder... plot thickens... they suspect the horny barmade of beeing in on this... plot thickens.... the barmade is killed... in the end.. the pie killed everyone...

don't underestimate the cosmic power of french toast!
03-01-2009 23:19:47
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Larien
Nubcake.

 
Post: #18
[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
POWERTHIRST
There's an orc in the dungeon. He's guarding a pie. The pie is actually CRYSTAL METH IN A CAN!!! You kick him in the face with your ENERGY LEGS!!!!!
Powerthirst now comes in HORNY BARMAIDS!!!! Now with preposterous amounts of testosterone: PREPOSTERONE!!!!


Warning: May contain Anna Kournikova.
(This post was last modified: 04-01-2009 13:58:11 by Galious.)
04-01-2009 13:58:02
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MaszaH Offline
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[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
je bent de AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOGH vergeten Wink hihihi....

don't underestimate the cosmic power of french toast!
04-01-2009 14:13:53
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JLT* Offline
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[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
OOTS

There's an orc in a dungeon guarding a pie. He would rather have icecream or a litter of puppies.
there is a lusty barmaid being seduced by a horny halfling. The barmaid would rather be a man again.

"I think I'll have seconds.."

-Chronomangor; Eater of Time. ∞
04-01-2009 17:17:16
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SageGenesis Online
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Post: #21
[Game] Typical RPG scenario through another lens.
Pretty much any Ghibli movie

There is an orc in the dungeon. Despite looking ugly he is really just a victim. Human polution and war are to blame for everything bad in the world. The pie represents greed.
The barmaid is old enough to be lusty, so she is an evil person who makes life miserable for good people until she redeems herself. Children are pure and always good.


The A-Team

The orc captures the entire team and locks them up in a dungeon. There they have nothing but stale bread, water, powertools, primitive explosives, heaps of scrap metal, an old but sturdy vehicle, and an ample supply of gasoline.
The barmaid hired the A-Team to save her family business that follows honest and decent rules of hardworking Americans. It's threatened by a soulless corporation that cares about nothing but money. She is not lusty, because this is a kid's show.


James Bond

The orc works for SPECTRE and has a plan that will make it rich. Somehow. He dies by falling into his own shark tank.
The barmaid is horny. So is Bond. I think we all know where this is going.

What you need to understand about the apocalypse is that you aren't Mad Max. You're part of the skull pyramid in the background.
05-01-2009 00:33:23
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